On Blasphemy

For years everyone's known that Anglicans are atheists. Or anyone either moderately literate or moderately intelligent could put it together on their own. There's nothing wrong with atheists; most religious people, after all, are atheists. But Anglicans - they are avowedly theologico-atheists. Feuerbach as much as tells us so in the first pages of Grundsätze der Philosophie der Zukunft (1843). In one of the first essays in MacIntyre's volume Against Self Images of Age we find a philosophical exposé of blatantly atheistic ideas in published theological writings of 20th c. Anglican clergymen. This should come as no shock to anyone.

But I don't intend here to deal with the theological redefinition of god in terms of the apogee of human desires, the highest fulfillment of human needs, &c.; I don't here intend to spell out how this makes the Anglican creed indistinguishable from the most vehement of atheisms. Nor am I going to rant about how little I like the Protestant faith in general. No, I am merely going to matter-of-factly state how absolutely disgusted I am by an Anglican parish in Montreal.

In one of those damnable commuter newspapers of the sort which is read by people merely in order to convince themselves that they are not entirely pissing away the 30 minutes they spend in the underground, I chanced across a photograph with a very small caption.



The caption read:

Alexa Nadeau recieves communion with her dog Christy at Christ's Anglican Church yesterday in Montreal. The parish is running a four-week pilot project that allows worshippers to bring their dogs to services.

One usually expects the most horribly blasphemous things to come from dedicated, ikonoclastic atheists; however, I am little surprised that this time, the infidels find themselves outdone by the faithful. It's bad enough when you're sitting in a pew (not something I do much these days) and somebody's kid is crying so loud it's droning out the 'word of God'; imagine a dog! Not just barking, but leg humping, wandering up and down the trancepts, sniffing at the lady-dogs' cunts? I don't even believe in God (and my friends will tell you that I positively delight in offending) and I'm absolutely offended by this. And you know what, if you Anglicans ever read that fucking Bible you fancy yourselves so much better than the Catholics at reading, maybe you'd realize that bringing your dog to church with you probably violates the entire book of Leviticus.

Of course, God does love animals. He loves the scent of their seared flesh wafting up to the heavens. He loves the scrumptious taste of all the delectable parts of an animal that are unsuited to human digestion. So, unless you're bringing little Sparky to sacrifice him to יהוה, leave him at home.

Just a thought: if we frankly admitted the fact that we are atheists, infidels, &c. instead of being such a damned lot of hypocritical Christians, perhaps the Arabs would not be as pissed-off-and-about-to-kill-us. Try it sometime.